yay!..and a trigger

It's friday! I made it! Yay! I didn't kill anyone/myself/the people trying to get me to stay in current apartment. But I digress.

I am supposed to be doing classwork right now(see, it's right beside me?) but I wanted to just talk on blogger. Do you know what I hate? Therapists who accuse you of lying. I actually had that happen. Let me rephrase that: a therapist who continually asks you if you actually were molested and aren't making it up.


*this will trigger those who were abused..don't read unless ready*


Yes Mr. Smug-bastard, my friend is making up what happened to her because she wanted it to happen. I know that there was an explosion of people accusing others of molestation and abuse, and usually it came out on its own that they were lying..but sorry kid..she's not one of them. She really went through it. How do I know?
Because that friend is me. I felt those hands, I had to go through a period of not being able to sit down because I was hurt "down there". And I had to go through those indignities for a while, only to be told by family that I was lying.
So I kept it to myself, only to tell members of churches, other therapists, and finally...a cell leader. Did it make me feel better? No, not really, because I'll never gain my past back, but each person I tell, it reaffirms to me that I am really alive..and it really happened. I say the I am really alive part because he actually threatened my life, that bastard did. And every year I live the more I realize he was lying.
I can't get you to believe me unless you read my mind, maybe then you'd believe me.
Or you might think it's another delusion.
Until then, I am going to get another fucking therapist, you asshole.