I have a question. In a perfect world, would we still have strippers?
I know after the last entry, this question makes no sense, but I needed to ask something humourous....
But seriously, would there be strippers?
Friday, March 30, 2007
yay!..and a trigger
It's friday! I made it! Yay! I didn't kill anyone/myself/the people trying to get me to stay in current apartment. But I digress.
I am supposed to be doing classwork right now(see, it's right beside me?) but I wanted to just talk on blogger. Do you know what I hate? Therapists who accuse you of lying. I actually had that happen. Let me rephrase that: a therapist who continually asks you if you actually were molested and aren't making it up.
*this will trigger those who were abused..don't read unless ready*
Yes Mr. Smug-bastard, my friend is making up what happened to her because she wanted it to happen. I know that there was an explosion of people accusing others of molestation and abuse, and usually it came out on its own that they were lying..but sorry kid..she's not one of them. She really went through it. How do I know?
Because that friend is me. I felt those hands, I had to go through a period of not being able to sit down because I was hurt "down there". And I had to go through those indignities for a while, only to be told by family that I was lying.
So I kept it to myself, only to tell members of churches, other therapists, and finally...a cell leader. Did it make me feel better? No, not really, because I'll never gain my past back, but each person I tell, it reaffirms to me that I am really alive..and it really happened. I say the I am really alive part because he actually threatened my life, that bastard did. And every year I live the more I realize he was lying.
I can't get you to believe me unless you read my mind, maybe then you'd believe me.
Or you might think it's another delusion.
Until then, I am going to get another fucking therapist, you asshole.
I am supposed to be doing classwork right now(see, it's right beside me?) but I wanted to just talk on blogger. Do you know what I hate? Therapists who accuse you of lying. I actually had that happen. Let me rephrase that: a therapist who continually asks you if you actually were molested and aren't making it up.
*this will trigger those who were abused..don't read unless ready*
Yes Mr. Smug-bastard, my friend is making up what happened to her because she wanted it to happen. I know that there was an explosion of people accusing others of molestation and abuse, and usually it came out on its own that they were lying..but sorry kid..she's not one of them. She really went through it. How do I know?
Because that friend is me. I felt those hands, I had to go through a period of not being able to sit down because I was hurt "down there". And I had to go through those indignities for a while, only to be told by family that I was lying.
So I kept it to myself, only to tell members of churches, other therapists, and finally...a cell leader. Did it make me feel better? No, not really, because I'll never gain my past back, but each person I tell, it reaffirms to me that I am really alive..and it really happened. I say the I am really alive part because he actually threatened my life, that bastard did. And every year I live the more I realize he was lying.
I can't get you to believe me unless you read my mind, maybe then you'd believe me.
Or you might think it's another delusion.
Until then, I am going to get another fucking therapist, you asshole.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Reason for my absense
Sorry guys, I've been a bad girl, but I have a reason!
1. I had a job
2. I joined a new website
1. I had a job
I got a job as a baker at cheesecake bistro, it didn't pan out(read: I got sick the first week). I couldn't help it that I got some horrible funky flu thing that still has me out on my ass. I guess when I finally get better I'll get another job. For now, not coughing up greenish grey stuff is on my agenda.
2. I joined a new website
I was drawn away by the most wonderful site: Otakubooty
Imagine this, all the "nerds" on the site...are hot! HOT NERDS ZOMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! And they love anime. Yes yes, I am very much in heaven.
Alright since I've told you where I am...
you can figure out the rest.
laters
1. I had a job
2. I joined a new website
1. I had a job
I got a job as a baker at cheesecake bistro, it didn't pan out(read: I got sick the first week). I couldn't help it that I got some horrible funky flu thing that still has me out on my ass. I guess when I finally get better I'll get another job. For now, not coughing up greenish grey stuff is on my agenda.
2. I joined a new website
I was drawn away by the most wonderful site: Otakubooty
Imagine this, all the "nerds" on the site...are hot! HOT NERDS ZOMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! And they love anime. Yes yes, I am very much in heaven.
Alright since I've told you where I am...
you can figure out the rest.
laters
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Happy Tuesday!
Hey kids! Today is Tuesday, and thanks to this blog, I am going to do a Tuesday meme. Those who are reading my blog, don't forget to answer too!
Due to a racy question, it might not be safe for work(NSFW).
1. What is your favorite charity? Do you you give your time or just money to that charity?
RAINN happens to be my favorite charity. As of the moment, I give neither, but the question certainly has given me a kick in the butt to do either one.
2. Describe your bed. What side do you sleep on?
It's a princess bed. Made of good, sturdy dark wood and a firm mattress. I tend to not sleep on *sides* but straight in the middle.
3. How important is a partners kissing ability?
It's pretty important. If he/she cannot kiss, what are the chances that they might incredibly suck in bed.
4. Have you ever purposely tried to seduce someone over a long period of time?
Yes! I have done that, and let me tell you, it works with guys..not so much with women.
5. Top or bottom?
Of the bed? Oh! Hm. Bottom.
Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? WTF is this question?! Yes, Yes I have.
Due to a racy question, it might not be safe for work(NSFW).
1. What is your favorite charity? Do you you give your time or just money to that charity?
RAINN happens to be my favorite charity. As of the moment, I give neither, but the question certainly has given me a kick in the butt to do either one.
2. Describe your bed. What side do you sleep on?
It's a princess bed. Made of good, sturdy dark wood and a firm mattress. I tend to not sleep on *sides* but straight in the middle.
3. How important is a partners kissing ability?
It's pretty important. If he/she cannot kiss, what are the chances that they might incredibly suck in bed.
4. Have you ever purposely tried to seduce someone over a long period of time?
Yes! I have done that, and let me tell you, it works with guys..not so much with women.
5. Top or bottom?
Of the bed? Oh! Hm. Bottom.
Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? WTF is this question?! Yes, Yes I have.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
What Grinds my Gears, pt Two
I said in my last post that I was going to write about inside racism, which should be inside discrimination, so my apologies.
But before I keep on going, let's start this off with a little story.
Last night I went to go see 300 with a friend of mine by the name of Lo. During the previews, there was a video for Fall Out Boy's "This ain't a scene, it's an arms race". Let it be known that I like Fall Out Boy(the guys can sing their lungs out, play instruments VERY well, and dammit, they are sooo hot!) and love the song that was playing even more. Usually when I hear it, I am singing along, but since I was with Lo, I took it down a few notches. He heard me anyway and said "I don't like this song" to which in typical fangirl fashion I was like "Why not? It rocks!", which led to a discussion on "my music" and "his music". This discussion was made worse by the fact that there was country music playing soon after...Tim Mcgraw if I remember correctly. He noticed that I liked the song "Set of Wings"(I know it isn't the right name but darnit.) and therein accused me of being "white". I of course was irritated. Why can't a person just like what type of music they like, and not be labeled anything?
This leads into my blog entry.
they(we) feel Why do some blacks find it necessary to say what is "white" and what is "black"? I mean, what is the purpose of it? Is there a "black" way of doing something? If so, why don't all blacks do it? Could it be that there are some issues leading to this idea? Yeah, totally. Maybe it is because they feel disenfranchised. Possibly. Or it could be that these people are complete idiots. Who knows. Either way, it all boils down to this: someone is going to think they are better or worse than another person because of the value placed of whatever is being spoken on. This is why I get such a big lecture for saying valley girl terms or listening to Fall Out Boy. The person lecturing thinks that "blackness" is something you can take on or off..thereby giving it increasing or decreasing value at will.
Does anyone understand why I am saying?
But before I keep on going, let's start this off with a little story.
Last night I went to go see 300 with a friend of mine by the name of Lo. During the previews, there was a video for Fall Out Boy's "This ain't a scene, it's an arms race". Let it be known that I like Fall Out Boy(the guys can sing their lungs out, play instruments VERY well, and dammit, they are sooo hot!) and love the song that was playing even more. Usually when I hear it, I am singing along, but since I was with Lo, I took it down a few notches. He heard me anyway and said "I don't like this song" to which in typical fangirl fashion I was like "Why not? It rocks!", which led to a discussion on "my music" and "his music". This discussion was made worse by the fact that there was country music playing soon after...Tim Mcgraw if I remember correctly. He noticed that I liked the song "Set of Wings"(I know it isn't the right name but darnit.) and therein accused me of being "white". I of course was irritated. Why can't a person just like what type of music they like, and not be labeled anything?
This leads into my blog entry.
they(we) feel Why do some blacks find it necessary to say what is "white" and what is "black"? I mean, what is the purpose of it? Is there a "black" way of doing something? If so, why don't all blacks do it? Could it be that there are some issues leading to this idea? Yeah, totally. Maybe it is because they feel disenfranchised. Possibly. Or it could be that these people are complete idiots. Who knows. Either way, it all boils down to this: someone is going to think they are better or worse than another person because of the value placed of whatever is being spoken on. This is why I get such a big lecture for saying valley girl terms or listening to Fall Out Boy. The person lecturing thinks that "blackness" is something you can take on or off..thereby giving it increasing or decreasing value at will.
Does anyone understand why I am saying?
What Grinds my Gears
Alright, let me start off by saying I yanked the quote from a Family Guy episode. Anyway, so let me go on.
I despise racists. No, scratch that, abhor racists. I understand not everyone is going to get along, this is obvious from going to grade school, but there has to be at least a modicum of common sense. Let's use the belief that Blacks are worthless and haven't done anything. Let's go down a small list of things that were created by Blacks:
1. Blood Banks- Created by Charles Richard Drew
2. Potato Chips-George Crum
3. Gas Mask-Garrett Morgan
4. Wooden Clock-Benny Banneker
And that is not even scratching the surface. There were over 100 inventions created by Blacks, most of them so important that if we did not have them, life as we know it would be over. What sets them apart from the mass of blacks that are all around the world? Education? Yes. Opportunity? Possibly? Race? No.
Of course we will have some people that say "Well, they just had a large amount of white blood in them.". Oh really? So the large amount of white blood in a particular person denotes intelligence? What about the white student who does not do well in class? Then it must be that pesky negro blood, right? No. The kid is stupid just like any person from any other race is stupid or smart. Example: my mother. She's black(at least she keeps saying she is....) and is a doctor. No lie. That is her vocation. She went to one of the best medical schools in the south, has various awards for being a friggin genius, and now works in the country to help the very people who thinks she's nothing.
People attach value on the color of the skin to make themselves feel better. In other words, it's a value judgement, plain and simple. And since we cannot arrest those who make such interesting judgements, all we can do is combat the ignorance, or ignore it.
This is the little bit I am going to say on outside racism. My next post will be on inside racism.
I despise racists. No, scratch that, abhor racists. I understand not everyone is going to get along, this is obvious from going to grade school, but there has to be at least a modicum of common sense. Let's use the belief that Blacks are worthless and haven't done anything. Let's go down a small list of things that were created by Blacks:
1. Blood Banks- Created by Charles Richard Drew
2. Potato Chips-George Crum
3. Gas Mask-Garrett Morgan
4. Wooden Clock-Benny Banneker
And that is not even scratching the surface. There were over 100 inventions created by Blacks, most of them so important that if we did not have them, life as we know it would be over. What sets them apart from the mass of blacks that are all around the world? Education? Yes. Opportunity? Possibly? Race? No.
Of course we will have some people that say "Well, they just had a large amount of white blood in them.". Oh really? So the large amount of white blood in a particular person denotes intelligence? What about the white student who does not do well in class? Then it must be that pesky negro blood, right? No. The kid is stupid just like any person from any other race is stupid or smart. Example: my mother. She's black(at least she keeps saying she is....) and is a doctor. No lie. That is her vocation. She went to one of the best medical schools in the south, has various awards for being a friggin genius, and now works in the country to help the very people who thinks she's nothing.
People attach value on the color of the skin to make themselves feel better. In other words, it's a value judgement, plain and simple. And since we cannot arrest those who make such interesting judgements, all we can do is combat the ignorance, or ignore it.
This is the little bit I am going to say on outside racism. My next post will be on inside racism.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Blinding Anger
I am just angry. Very angry. For the full bit, just look at 08 Mar 2007. How can two reps of two minorities be that lacking in logic? If anything, this has proved that racism is alive and well. And this has made it no better.
How the hell can you do that to a child?! They are small and not too bright at moments(they haven't lived long enough to really KNOW anything). Don't get me wrong, pot should be decriminalized...for ADULTS. But children should not even be near the stuff. Why? Because when used, it can screw with your lungs and head, and the kids need every brain cell possible. After they grow up, they can burn all the brain cells they want!
Anyway, what I was wanting to say was this:
Why did they have to be black? Just why? It's bad enough we had so many stupid things happen at the end of last month, now this? And they wonder why people say we are stupid. Seriously guys, use some g-d common sense. It isn't "cute" nor is it "gansta". It's STUPID. If you are going to spend time doing something like that, let me suggest sucking on a tailpipe of a car. While it's running.
Or maybe you could take that ingenuity and use it for something helpful.
Just a thought.
How the hell can you do that to a child?! They are small and not too bright at moments(they haven't lived long enough to really KNOW anything). Don't get me wrong, pot should be decriminalized...for ADULTS. But children should not even be near the stuff. Why? Because when used, it can screw with your lungs and head, and the kids need every brain cell possible. After they grow up, they can burn all the brain cells they want!
Anyway, what I was wanting to say was this:
Why did they have to be black? Just why? It's bad enough we had so many stupid things happen at the end of last month, now this? And they wonder why people say we are stupid. Seriously guys, use some g-d common sense. It isn't "cute" nor is it "gansta". It's STUPID. If you are going to spend time doing something like that, let me suggest sucking on a tailpipe of a car. While it's running.
Or maybe you could take that ingenuity and use it for something helpful.
Just a thought.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Changing the format..maybe
Gah.
I started planning the wedding today. Well, it isn't something that just HAPPENED, but instead is a series of starts and stops. You know how it is: school starts so it's all about the brain. That and I no longer have wedding on the brain like I did some months ago. I guess.no..I know it is because I didn't want to be let down again. The last man I was actually thinking of marrying..basically gave me the shaft.
Now granted, D is nothing like this. No. He is stubborn,goofy, and has alot of self respect. And yet, I love the guy. Those who know me get the joke.
The fact that he wants to marry ME can either cause me to want to run or look at him all googly eyed. So far it's the mix of the two. I am going to miss my freedom and the possibilities of things that I could do. But on the other hand, I actually want to make a life with this guy. Have children and all that. Yes, even grow old with him. I know he isn't perfect, and now I don't expect him to be.
And he doesn't expect me to be either. Hallelujah! Now, I do wonder if maybe I should be more ladylike...
but that's a work in progress.
I genuinely like this one, and want to make it work, before and after the whole non-altar thing.
I am thinking of making this lovely blog a testament to this life stage.
Anyone think it's a good idea?
I started planning the wedding today. Well, it isn't something that just HAPPENED, but instead is a series of starts and stops. You know how it is: school starts so it's all about the brain. That and I no longer have wedding on the brain like I did some months ago. I guess.no..I know it is because I didn't want to be let down again. The last man I was actually thinking of marrying..basically gave me the shaft.
Now granted, D is nothing like this. No. He is stubborn,goofy, and has alot of self respect. And yet, I love the guy. Those who know me get the joke.
The fact that he wants to marry ME can either cause me to want to run or look at him all googly eyed. So far it's the mix of the two. I am going to miss my freedom and the possibilities of things that I could do. But on the other hand, I actually want to make a life with this guy. Have children and all that. Yes, even grow old with him. I know he isn't perfect, and now I don't expect him to be.
And he doesn't expect me to be either. Hallelujah! Now, I do wonder if maybe I should be more ladylike...
but that's a work in progress.
I genuinely like this one, and want to make it work, before and after the whole non-altar thing.
I am thinking of making this lovely blog a testament to this life stage.
Anyone think it's a good idea?
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