Something wicked stirring in my mind

Today started SO innocently. I was on okcupid, aim, imvu, and otakubooty chatting away. Nothing really bad there. I usually do that most times.
The thing is that, I usually don't get such strange IM's.
I won't state his name as that I am being a nice dictator...
but I will say what the gist of the convo was:

him: my friend and me made a bet about me wearing women's shoes. she brought a bag filled with pink panties, stockings, garters, and shoes.

me: well tell me about how you feel. Does it scare you that it makes you feel good?

I don't know what happened, but as soon as I started asking him about how he felt in the panties, the hose and such..something came over me. I was feeling like I was poking and prodding(in a good way) in his mind. I knew it was humilating, but I wanted to just see..to just know... if I could get in his head and make him admit that he liked being dressed that way. That and I wished I was there to see how he looked, and to totally make him feel like a woman. Complete with strapon. I wanted to make the little shit into the most femme thing I can think of.

My friend Erik was there online with me during the whole time as I explained to him the sitch. His response was "I guess there is a Dominant streak in your after all". Of course all said with a smirk. The bastard knew! LoL.

And here I am at a quandry. I loved the feelings I had..and wouldn't mind doing it in RL. I just fear what would happen if anyone close to me were to find out. We all know I live in backwards alley.

Call me an idiot but...

http://www.2theadvocate.com/news/neworleans/7241206.html

By ALLEN JOHNSON JR.
Special to The Advocate
Published: Apr 29, 2007 - Page: 27a

NEW ORLEANS — Gertrude LeBlanc, an ailing, 71-year-old retired postal worker, suddenly changed the course of a hurricane recovery march through the Lower 9th Ward on Saturday.

And she didn’t even get up from the rocking chair outside of her FEMA trailer. LeBlanc simply smiled and waved at the dozens of demonstrators — led by the Rev. Jesse Jackson — as they began to turn off Tennessee Street, a half a block away from where she sat.

“Whoa … whoa … whoa!” someone in the procession yelled.

The march that Jackson called “to refocus America’s attention” on the sluggish recovery in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast (20 months after Hurricane Katrina struck) — suddenly stopped in midturn at the corner.

U.S. Rep. Bill Jefferson, D-La., Mayor Ray Nagin and former Mayor Marc Morial and other front-row marchers carrying a banner, halted first. Swarming news photographers stopped backpedaling.

A man in a T-shirt then approached Jackson and pointed toward LeBlanc. The civil rights minister turned to his right. Looking across the weed-choked lots where houses once stood, he saw the elderly woman waving from underneath a blue-and-white striped umbrella on her porch.

Without expression, Jackson ordered the march to back up onto Tennessee Street. In short order, the activist and a stream of elected officials were taking turns climbing the flower-decked steps of LeBlanc’s porch. They greeted her warmly and with deference.

As I was reading my Advocate(www.2theadvocate.com), I went to the New Orleans section of the news. As I passed stories of pain, suffering, and the glaring problem of piss poor management, one in particular caught my eye. Basically there was a march in New Orleans that was "focused" on the recovery of New Orleans. Leading this was Jesse Jackson.

My only question is, while they were over there...why didn't they help the poor person out instead of shaking their hand?

Help.

I do not hate my family, but at moments I wish I had the strongest drink possible.

Today was one of those days.

I was getting something ready for the easter dinner when my mom asked me if I ever had any meds for my ADD(it's really bad) and then talked about how I was diagnosed with it but never got any meds. After that, we went down the grocery list of the diagnoses that I got from the psycharitrist that shall not be named(she was good though) until my grandmother said "PTSD, why was she diagnosed with that?"

My mom says calmly "For abuse, she was sexually abused"

My grandmother gave me the look of "yeah right" and kept doing whatever. Mom tried to say what happened, but she had it all wrong(ages and such) so I told her.

There was a few minutes of quiet until my mom said "Well the guy who did the thing is still alive, let's go kill him" , with a smile on her face.

I didn't get the humor in that.

Before this lovely incident, I went to Colfax to see my family and I tell you..it was a BAD IDEA. I had to sit there hearing about how my meds must be working because I seem so sane...

Guys, I tell you...

I need either a hug or a drink.

Friends Only Pictures..men on parade?

It's Wedsday, and we all know what that day means: clean out the litterbox day. No, wait! It's also another day. It's the day that my SO is off of work. And being the kind, giving person that he is...

He washes the dishes that are left over from last night while I write in my blog and check my account on OTAKUBOOTY. Nothing too interesting until I realize that I have a friend whose decided to let me see their friend only pictures. I won't say what constitutes friend only pictures, but I will tell you this...

If I ever decide to take thousands of pictures of me in various states of undress, cosplay, or bondage wear...my friends will know first.

In fact, that leads me to a question. For a girl who is pretty much like *ack don't wanna be the naked*, what friends only pictures should I put? What characters should I dress up as? Should I wear wigs or no?

Friends, you tell me...because I am more clueless(even though I read what to do) on what you guys(meaning everyone) wants.

Much love,

Noir

Every...Freaking...Time

I was reading this comic today, and I tell you..no I ASK you to reread the last frame, and replace it with "bible".

I won't lie, I seriously thought it was just your basic conversation that an Atheist has with a Christian. Let's think about that for a second. Could it be that I along with others have bought the idea that everyone and their mother is a Christian? You betcha. It's something I seriously thought for the longest time. I didn't meet my first Jewish person until I was in 4th grade, and even then I think I scared her because I was like "wow, that is so cool!". I didn't meet a Muslim until I was in college, and I had to go to LSU for that one. First Hindi? LSU. First Atheist? Somewhere in High School but I was too busy witnessing to them to really listen to their thoughts and ideas. Why? Because I wasn't really taught how to deal with anyone who thought differently than me, unless you count the "witness to them until they repent" part.
Note: To anyone who knew me in high school, I am so sorry!
Anyway, back to what I am trying to say. What am I trying to say? I am trying to say that in a way, my upbringing sheltered me to the point where I couldn't function with different people. There are moments where I fall into "faulty Christian thinking" and have to shake myself silly going "okay, this is NOT a theocracy..try the f$%k again".

And that's all I am going to say about that.

Best Bathrooms in East Baton Rouge

If I had a camera, I'd show you the best bathroom in East Baton Rouge. But since I do not, I shall instead tell you about it.

Surprisingly, the best bathroom is in the Best Buy near the Mall of Louisiana. It has great suction(I mean if you put a melon in there, it would just suck it down!) and is cleaner than most of the bathrooms around here.

The worst bathroom in East Baton Rouge? Wal-Mart near Bethany World Prayer Center. I know I am going to get some jokes on that, but let's think about it. The bathroom is dark, dank, and possibly only sees cleaning agents at least every other day. But if I were paid the horrible wages, I'd slack off too. And before someone says "OMG, how could you say that, you are teh evil!!", let me say this:

1. I like wal-mart.
2. I hate icky public restrooms.
3. It's an opinion, get over it.

Anyway, so that's all I have to say for today. Don't eat too much and Goddess/God Bless or something.

Question

I have a question. In a perfect world, would we still have strippers?


I know after the last entry, this question makes no sense, but I needed to ask something humourous....


But seriously, would there be strippers?

yay!..and a trigger

It's friday! I made it! Yay! I didn't kill anyone/myself/the people trying to get me to stay in current apartment. But I digress.

I am supposed to be doing classwork right now(see, it's right beside me?) but I wanted to just talk on blogger. Do you know what I hate? Therapists who accuse you of lying. I actually had that happen. Let me rephrase that: a therapist who continually asks you if you actually were molested and aren't making it up.


*this will trigger those who were abused..don't read unless ready*


Yes Mr. Smug-bastard, my friend is making up what happened to her because she wanted it to happen. I know that there was an explosion of people accusing others of molestation and abuse, and usually it came out on its own that they were lying..but sorry kid..she's not one of them. She really went through it. How do I know?
Because that friend is me. I felt those hands, I had to go through a period of not being able to sit down because I was hurt "down there". And I had to go through those indignities for a while, only to be told by family that I was lying.
So I kept it to myself, only to tell members of churches, other therapists, and finally...a cell leader. Did it make me feel better? No, not really, because I'll never gain my past back, but each person I tell, it reaffirms to me that I am really alive..and it really happened. I say the I am really alive part because he actually threatened my life, that bastard did. And every year I live the more I realize he was lying.
I can't get you to believe me unless you read my mind, maybe then you'd believe me.
Or you might think it's another delusion.
Until then, I am going to get another fucking therapist, you asshole.

Reason for my absense

Sorry guys, I've been a bad girl, but I have a reason!

1. I had a job
2. I joined a new website


1. I had a job

I got a job as a baker at cheesecake bistro, it didn't pan out(read: I got sick the first week). I couldn't help it that I got some horrible funky flu thing that still has me out on my ass. I guess when I finally get better I'll get another job. For now, not coughing up greenish grey stuff is on my agenda.

2. I joined a new website

I was drawn away by the most wonderful site: Otakubooty
Imagine this, all the "nerds" on the site...are hot! HOT NERDS ZOMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?! And they love anime. Yes yes, I am very much in heaven.

Alright since I've told you where I am...

you can figure out the rest.

laters